We often see kids who do great in practice but freeze up during games. This can be frustrating and confusing for parents and coaches. What’s going on in the young athlete’s mind, and what can parents and coaches do to help?
First, parents and coaches should help young athletes understand that they control their own confidence. If kids start a game needing quick results (like making the first basket or hit), they’re damaging their confidence.
It’s important to remind young athletes that they’ve been practicing to build confidence for a long time. Don’t let them lose that hard-earned confidence by worrying about instant success!
Athletes need to know that they’ll do better if they take full responsibility for their own confidence before the game starts. This is why it’s called self-confidence!
Often, athletes wait until they make a few plays before deciding how confident they feel. If this is how your young athlete thinks, they need positive results to feel confident. In other words, they need to make that great hit or basket before they can start to feel confident.
If this sounds like the young athletes you know, you can help. Tell them they need to change their thinking before the game. Tell them not to worry about making that first hit, goal, or basket right away!
Instead, they should remember their past successes even before the game begins. For example, a young tennis player can think about playing well in past tournaments, beating peers, or their ability to serve consistently in the past.
As a parent, you can use different confidence-boosting strategies to help your child be proactive and boost confidence before competition. Try using these strategies to help your child build confidence before the game:
Positive Self-Talk: Teach your child to use positive self-talk statements to boost confidence before competition. For example, “I have hit straight drives all season, today is no different; every drive is going down the middle.”
Mental Imagery: Have your child mentally rehearse successful plays or points before the competition. This reinforces success and confidence. For example, imagine hitting a backhand drive down the line to win or sinking a long birdie putt.
Warm-Up: Before competition, your child should warm up and get in the right mindset. The warm-up should not be a coaching or practice session focused on mechanics and technique. Instead, discuss the game positively and remind them of their past successes. Avoid pointing out mistakes or losses before the game. Say positive statements like, “Enjoy the game! I know you’ll do your best!”
Finally, it’s important for parents to avoid burdening their children with expectations. Be careful about saying things like, “I want you to score four goals today!” or “I know you can beat her to the finish line.”
Children can turn these statements into expectations, pressuring themselves to perform. If they don’t meet these expectations, they can become frustrated and lose confidence.
